Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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