it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Two words: blizzard sex
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
