If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
