i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
