You work out of a Hotel?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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