i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
