have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
