Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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