my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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