Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
