Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
