Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just puked most of my soul out..
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize