I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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