I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
