Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She's the barista slut.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
