discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
