i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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