I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
