just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
