I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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