it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
did i just pee glitter
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
