And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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