It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
