you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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