I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
did i just pee glitter
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
