dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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