I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize