as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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