that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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