Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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