and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
