My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
