yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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