u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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