Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize