This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
