Cold hands, warm shart.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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