google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
