Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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