Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
