I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
