i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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