There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so let's talk penis.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize