Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
