Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My bed smells like the plague
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
