So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Damn victory sex feels great
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
