Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
