My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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