Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
