Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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