Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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