wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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