the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
