I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
