I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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