how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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