Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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